Breaking news from the FNS news desk at FLIPSIDESHOW.COM. 10:12 a.m. CST, 3/01/04.

PEACEABLE MUSLIMS AROUND THE WORLD FORCED TO DEFEND SELVES AGAINST MANIPULATION OF NATURE BY TERRORISTIC ZIONISTS.

Reports are coming in from around the southern hemisphere of rioting and massacres as Muslims attempt to defend themselves from an unprovoked attack against these normally pacifist peoples.

This began at 4:15 a.m. EST this morning--just after noon on the western shores of Africa as a solar eclipse blocked out the summer sun. The eclipse sped eastward across the African continent at speeds greater than 3,125 miles per hour, momentarily casting darkness upon portions of Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe, and South Africa before leaving the eastern coast of Africa in Mozambique.

As the shadow of the eclipse raced across Africa, a wake of destruction was left in its wake. In Namibia, Muslim herders killed flocks of sheep and herds of cattle of their neighbors who practice primitive animistic religions. Wives and daughters of these neighboring herders were raped, and the herders and their sons were beaten to the cries of "Allah is great!"

In Botswana and Zimbabwe, schools and medical missions of Christian missionaries were burned. At least 24 residents of hospitals were injured or killed, dozens of school children were injured and made homeless, and at this report, three Christian medical missionaries are known to have died.

In Cape Town, both Zulu temples and Dutch reformed churches were burned, and their defenders were attacked. It is not yet clear how many injuries occurred, but a steady flow of ambulances filled the streets. And in Johannesburg, the commercial capital of South Africa, there were pitched battles as the cycle of violence continued between Muslims and both native tribes and members of the Dutch Reformed Church. Overturned and burning cars were frequent sites on the west end of the city, and the mayor declared a state of emergency and marshal law in an attempt to stop the violence.

Muslim leaders including Omar Jaziz Ali ben gally Mohammed in South Africa vehemently condemned the counter attacks against the Muslim mobs, saying, "It is a sad day when infidels resist a holy Jihad in the name of Allah! The great prophet Mohammed would roll over in his grave if he did not have so many virgins atop him that he is not able to move--blessed be Allah!"

In Washington, Albul Ful Ovit Abdullah Jaziz, spokesperson for the Muslim civil rights group, Jew-hating Islamic Radical Killer Society (JIRKS), said that the manipulation of the heavens by Zionists and George Bush were an atrocity that could not be permitted.

When Albul was asked how he knew that the Zionists and George Bush had arranged the dastardly eclipse that as he had said, "only temporarily--Allah is great--shut out the sun," Albul noted that many Jews in Africa had been observed taking off their sunglasses a full two minutes before the eclipse commenced." And George Bush had acknowledged talking to the chief liar himself, Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, just last week.

Albul then pronounced a Holy Jihad in the name of peace against such machinations of infidel potentates who imagine they can resist Allah. And he called on all peaceable Muslims to take a stand against such racism as occurred when innocent peoples across Africa attempted to defend themselves against a just and righteous holy Jihad by peace loving Muslims everywhere.

Jesse Jackson stated that people of color have to stand together all around the globe against imperialistic white men in Washington and Jerusalem. When it was noted that most of the victims in Africa were native Africans, he said that they were simply oreos, and that he and his people stand behind people of color including their leader, Bill Clinton, and including Muslims in Africa, "who would kill us for our faith if they could, but whose cause is just and fair. We will continue to support these defenseless murderers as long as the Republican National Committee continues to refuse to transfer funds to the Swiss Bank Account that has been provided to them on numerous occasions."